Thursday, 31 May 2012
Monday, 21 May 2012
The Legend of the true cockney
The legend that states true cockneys are born only within the sound of Bow Bells; the ones that peal every 15 minutes from Sir Christopher Wren's 1680 church, St Mary-le-Bow, on Cheapside. In fact, Bow Bells cockneys are not that exclusive a bunch. Research has shown that, without the background noise of modern London, the bells could once be heard as far as Canning Town (six miles east), Haringey (five miles north), Lambeth (three miles south) and Westbourne Green (four miles west).
Song
Section from a 19th century engraving by Nathaniel Whittock from a drawing by Antony van den Wyngaerde (ca 1543-50), which shows the towers and spires of many of the churches mentioned in the rhyme
Here is a longer version:
Song
Oranges and lemons,
Say the bells of St. Clement's.
You owe me five farthings,
Say the bells of St. Martin's.
When will you pay me?
Say the bells of Old Bailey.
When I grow rich,
Say the bells of Shoreditch.
When will that be?
Say the bells of Stepney.
I do not know,
Says the great bell of Bow.
Here comes a candle to light you to bed,
And here comes a chopper to chop off your head![1]
Gay go up and gay go down,
To ring the bells of London town.
Oranges and lemons,
Say the bells of St. Clements.
Bull's eyes and targets,
Say the bells of St. Margret's.
Brickbats and tiles,
Say the bells of St. Giles'.
Halfpence and farthings,
Say the bells of St. Martin's.
Pancakes and fritters,
Say the bells of St. Peter's.
Two sticks and an apple,
Say the bells of Whitechapel.
Pokers and tongs,
Say the bells of St. John's.
Kettles and pans,
Say the bells of St. Ann's.
Old Father Baldpate,
Say the slow bells of Aldgate.
You owe me ten shillings,
Say the bells of St. Helen's.
When will you pay me?
Say the bells of Old Bailey.
When I grow rich,
Say the bells of Shoreditch.
Pray when will that be?
Say the bells of Stepney.
I do not know,
Says the great bell of Bow.
Here comes a candle to light you to bed,
Here comes a chopper to chop off your head.
Chop chop chop chop
The last man's dead![2][3]
Monday, 30 April 2012
Cutty Sark
The Queen joined by the Duke of Edinburgh came to Greenwich to celebrate the completed restoration of the Cutty Sark. During their tour of Greenwich - which has been made a royal borough to mark the Queen's Jubilee - the Queen and Philip will visit the nearby National Maritime Museum.
Figurehead Nannie dressed in her petticoat called the Cutty Sark
The fire in 2007
The ship before the restoration
The ship during the restoration
Tuesday, 24 April 2012
Friday, 13 April 2012
Pejazzling
A landscape gardener was telling me about this new obsession for men to have a Hollywood wax - EVERY bit of hair removed! Apparently modern girls will not stand for the old brillo pad look on their man. Swim shorts that look like a bunch of seaweed has got trapped in your trunks is sooo wrong! Men everywhere are being pressured to go smooth like their girlfriends. He told me that in the past his girlfriend, a” landscape gardener”, has used her creative talents to produce many different forms of topiary to enhance his willy. Today’s modern girl is fed up having to take part in a bushtucker trial every time she has an intimate moment with her fella. The growing popularity for the back, sack and crack wax has surpassed the short back and sides that was the bread and butter of a traditional barber’s, forcing these chapels of masculinity into male grooming salons. Personally I needed some convincing to say the least, but as he so eloquently put it to me, “The Ultimate Hollywood wax is the dogs boll**cks”.
The Ultimate He-Wax treatments can now offer ‘pejazzling’, which is exactly what it sounds like. Similar to women's vajazzling, patterns such as stars and dolphins, are created on the skin using crystals. Men can have their favourite football team logo or decorative ivy curling around their willy.
Wednesday, 11 April 2012
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